What I Miss About Jeri

The first thing that comes to mind is the way she always grounded me in the sense that I have always been a dreamer or have had my head in the sky. And many times in my life this has caused me perhaps unnecessary headaches. Jeri taught me to not make such rash decisions & to think things through a bit before doing something I might live to regret. Early on in our relationship, I used to tell her and everyone I knew that she was my Rock of Gibraltar & this used to annoy her. I think she felt it was like saying she was a drag or weighed me down or that I was hen-pecked? But I meant it in a positive sense in that she was always stable & reliable and someone I could depend on. Come to think of it, we were a good match because she told me in different ways that I inspired her & encouraged her to be a bit more daring or adventurous. And one of my favorite compliments that she paid me over our years together was when she told me that I had helped to make her a better teacher.

I also remember early in our relationship, we had taken a group of her students to Magic Mountain & they were off enjoying themselves on the various rides & we were laying on some grass and making-out when she said to me, “One of the things that I like about you Rob is that you look at the world differently.”

Jeri’s love for me and her belief in me was the fire that sparked my spirit. My heart, my mind, and my soul were forged in the love we shared. I didn’t truly know what inner strength I had until she showed me. She was my guide, my mentor, my muse. Her belief in me nurtured my belief in myself. Because of all that she had already accomplished when I met her, I saw that I was only fighting against myself. I made a vow to myself after meeting Jeri that I would never drop-out of another college course & that I would earn my bachelor’s degree and prove all those family members & “friends” wrong who had called me a quitter. And because of Jeri’s encouragement, I pursued my writing & didn’t give up on my dream of becoming a writer. The joy we shared as we raised our son together was like nothing I can describe for its depth & grounding of one’s being.

I could die tomorrow and not really regret it because I was blessed to have found my soul mate & I know that we’ll be reunited again. I can understand why the Taj Mahal was built to honor a lover, a wife. I can only try to write a Taj Mahal to honor my lady!

You see, bottom-line of what I miss about Jeri is the fact that until I met her, I never believed that I deserved to be loved.