global warming

Democracy’s Delusion

~ cockroachconspiracy
Trump, the “Chosen One” according to the “Christian” fundamentalists

 

 

“Those who sacrifice freedom for safety deserve neither.”

—Thomas Jefferson

 

One of America’s central delusions is that of free speech. And the powers that be, those CEOs who run the mammoth, corporate conglomerates who tell politicians & presidents when to shit & when to get off the pot, silence those who speak a little too freely. In nations like Mexico, they’re not very subtle & they simply murder journalists who inform the public about the corruption that is impoverishing their citizens.

 

But here in the good old U.S.A. our political/corporate elite hide their dark agendas behind grandiose words like; freedom, democracy, liberty, etc. Take five minutes to skim over the names of the most prominent right-wing or conservative think tanks & you’ll take my point.

 

You see, here in the land of the free & home of the brave, we’re supposed to just wave our flags on the 4th of July, Memorial Day, etc. and then shut the fuck up rest of the time. If you dare to question or criticize our government, as Thomas Jefferson said was not only our right but our duty, you are told to “Love it or leave it.” How’s that for freedom?

 

My motivation for writing this essay is the fact that I’m getting so fuckin’ tired of being told to either shut-up or leave when I begin to talk about political matters in bars. And it’s usually some bartender that knows nothing about what’s happening in our country & could give a shit less but has a smug sense of superiority because they have the “power” to 86 me.

 

I hate this feeling of being in a constant verbal straitjacket and want to scream Fuck you, you little flunky bartender! The older I become, the more I realize just how unfree we are in this fairy tale land we call America. My political awakening began in my late teens when I kept going AWOL from the U.S. Army because I didn’t think going to Vietnam was such a great idea.

The darkest days of my life until I lost my wife

 

And throughout my 20s, whenever I was partying with my friends, they often mocked me for my comments & opinions which seemed so foreign to them. They were mostly good natured though so I kept trying to get through to them. But again, as I grew older & was confronted sometimes with physical threats in bars, I became more disillusioned with this whole farce we call Democracy. You may think me a liar but I don’t give a fuck because I know my truth i.e. conservatively, I have spent at least 50,000 hours over my adult life reading, taking notes, listening, watching, researching, & writing about American politics & foreign policy. So, yeah, I dare to speak with an air of confidence or self-assuredness on many of the issues facing us today. And I welcome anyone who cares to challenge me intellectually because I know I’ve paid my dues & continue to do so.

 

So, go ahead, make my day as Clint Eastwood is famous for saying. When you consider the pathetic state of awareness of the average American & read the statistics regarding American’s reading habits, etc., I take comfort in knowing that I am light-years ahead of most of my countrymen. And no, I don’t give a shit how elitist that makes me sound & I know how much Trump followers detest elitists like myself because we “make them feel inferior.”

 

Well, my response is, if the shoe fits? This is a cop-out & these intellectually lazy citizens refuse to accept responsibility for their not being willing to pick up a book on a regular basis & blame those who are intellectually superior to them for acting superior. I came from the poor side of the tracks, raised by a single mother with a brother & two sisters. I was the eldest & began cooking for my siblings when I was 12 years old. Made them do their chores, their homework, be in bed on time, fought their battles, etc. So, don’t give me your sob stories claiming that you couldn’t find the time to go to the library & read and educate yourself.

 

Returning to the main thesis of this essay, over the years, I have occasionally been in a bar where we were “allowed” to speak freely and a serious political discussion/debate ensued & I absolutely loved it when I saw the spark in people’s eyes or their faces light up. And once in a while after such intense discussions, one or more of the participants would come up to me and say things like; “Wow! That was the best conversation I’ve had in ten years,” or “I learned so much, thank you!” And yeah, I’ve gotten into some heated debates with individuals but realized that their mind was closed & I was just beating my head against the wall. So, I’d end it by saying something like; Well, we’re obviously getting nowhere so can we just agree that we disagree? And we’d either change the subject or go our separate ways peacefully.

 

Continuing on, I fondly recall an experience I had while waiting in the cell outside the courtroom in Oakland, CA awaiting my appearance before the judge for a D.U.I. There were approximately six young black guys, a couple of older black guys near my age & myself. The young guys were gangbangers & drug dealers (I learned this from overhearing their conversations)

 

Well, they got into a religious debate and one of them had long, Dred-locks and was in favor of Buddhism while the others were mostly Christian. Their debate went on for about a half hour and I could no longer resist so I raised my hand like a boy in school. They cracked-up and nodded that it was okay for me to join in. I soon found myself serving as a sort of moderator & interjected at times; “Okay, now it’s his turn” and would point to another individual so he could say his piece.

 

We were let out of jail in the middle of the night & these young gangsters took me under their wings so-to-speak. They walked me to the nearest BART station & accompanied me to the best stop for me to connect & get back to the Berkeley area where my van was. And they hugged me as we parted.

 

I tell you this not to brag but to show you that even in such harsh conditions as being locked-up in jail, people can behave in a civilized manner even when discussing religion which I believe is the other taboo subject we’re not supposed to talk about in bars?

 

So, tell me, do you believe the “common wisdom” that if people talk about politics in bars, things are likely to get out of control i.e. fights will break out? I feel that what this taboo is saying is that we can’t be trusted to behave in a civil manner, especially when we’re drinking. I say, Bull-shit!

 

People start fights or get into fights in bars for any one of thousands of reasons & politics may be a reason they do now & then but that doesn’t mean that we should ban political speech in bars absolutely. If a person becomes belligerent in a bar for whatever reason, yeah, kick them out but don’t censor all of us for what a minority of assholes may do. Because this makes a mockery of our Declaration of Independence, our Bill of Rights, & our supposed freedoms.

 

Here’s something for you to mull over if you will; Why do we have over 900 military bases around the world with God knows how many “black op sites,” supposedly to protect & promote democracy abroad but we can’t speak about matters that affect our democracy at home when we’re in bars, the most common meeting place for citizens on a regular basis?

 

And no, I’m not trying to paint some grand Alex Jones conspiracy theory but it sure is interesting to note how this taboo just coincidentally benefits the 1%. What other public location or institutions allows us to speak freely to one another?

 

I have even been kicked-out of some bars for pointing out to bartenders who commanded me to shut up because I was talking about politics, when other customers were talking about local political matters i.e. city hall, road construction, etc. I’d say, hey, they’re talking about politics & boy would the bartender become flustered & immediately proclaim their authority; “Get out!”

 

Seems that local politics are basically okay to speak about but not national or international politics? So perhaps we’re getting a bit closer to the truth or the reality of our so-called “freedom of speech” in America? We’re allowed to speak freely within the confines of our own homes but hardly anywhere else? And we’re allowed to speak freely as long as it isn’t about any sensitive subjects that might offend the 1%, you know, the super elite that Trump wishes he were a part of but who won’t allow Little Lord Fauntleroy into their clubs.

 

We definitely lose all our rights when we walk through the entrance to our workplace because private employers are tyrannies and Walmart is a prime example i.e. if any employee dares to mention forming a union, they are out the door. Our election system is fast becoming a joke & is resembling more & more those “banana Republics” which we have looked down our noses at for decades even though we helped create them—see Major General Smedley F. Butler of the U.S.M.C.

This is the ugly truth behind the corporate cockroaches’ agenda of perpetual war

 

Gerrymandering, voter suppression/intimidation, tampering with voter machines, & Russian hacking which Mitch McConnell won’t allow us to do anything about, etc. has clearly made a mockery of our much-touted free elections. So much for expressing ourselves via the voting booth.

 

Moreover, if you’ll spend even a modicum of time checking out:

 

Jaron Lanier; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc_Jq42Og7Q&t=4s

 

Tristan Harris; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C74amJRp730&t=117s

 

Chamath Palihapitiya; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J54k7WrbfMg&t=5s

 

Shoshana Zuboff; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo6K-bPh39M

 

Edward Snowden

 

Or the recent Netflix documentary; “The Big Hack”

 

You’ll begin to realize the folly of turning to the “social media,” to save us. It is purposely designed to divide us & promote aggressive & fearful feelings between us because that brings more viewers (eyeballs) which increase their profits. Some of the above played pivotal roles in bringing about the social media so you might pay close attention to what they’re saying.

 

Perhaps most importantly, the revelations regarding Cambridge Analytica & Trump’s “winning” of the presidency proves just how extensively our “democracy” has been hacked & hence, our gradual slide into mere drones for the powers that be.

 

Specifically, what do our other supposed freedoms mean if we don’t truly have freedom of speech? Freedom of speech is the bedrock, the cornerstone, the foundation of all our other freedoms in the Bill of Rights, & the Declaration of Independence.

 

And speaking of The Bill of Rights, are you aware of how the powers that be gutted this so-called sacred document of our Republic shortly after the events of September 11, 2001? Yep! Because the Bush administration had been asleep at the wheel, they scrambled to cover their ignorance, laziness, & ineptitude by ramming through these draconian assaults on our “holy” rights & freedoms as Americans. Not very reassuring in my book i.e. just how firm is the “foundation” of this nation that struts the world stage declaring how powerful we are & that we have the best form of government on Earth. (see https://ccrjustice.org/home/blog/2015/11/17/911-decade-and-decline-us-democracy

 

If you’d care to inform yourself more on this sad subject)

 

Last night, in less than ten minutes, I came up with this list of subjects we’re not allowed to talk about in bars because if we do, within a matter of minutes, we’ll be discussing political matters:

 

  1. The recent slaughter in El Paso
  2. The Vietnam War
  3. The Iraq War
  4. The social media
  5. Losing our jobs
  6. Being homeless
  7. NAFTA
  8. Student debt
  9. Global warming
  • Nuclear war
  • Trump’s tweets
  • The coming Recession or Depression?
  • Bankruptcy
  • Health insurance or the lack thereof
  • The future of work
  • Christian fundamentalists support of Trump

 

For the past decade or better, I have tried to be tactful when people tell me that they’re not interested in politics. And my usual response is something like; Oh, I see? So, you’re not interested in whether or not you lose your job, your health insurance, your pension, etc. And believe it or not, it really does sadden me that I have to keep pointing out to people that politics affects every aspect of our lives & we’d better wake the fuck up!

what have they all died for?

 

To not do so is to spit on the graves of all those soldiers, sailors, marines, & airmen who sacrificed their lives for these freedoms that we so love to brag about to the world. We are slip-sliding into Trump’s Totalitarian Terrorism (my phrase) here at home & abroad and it’s up to us as individuals & as citizens of America to stand up on our hind legs & yell; “I’m as Mad as Hell & I’m not going to take it anymore!”

Half a million young people sharing Love, Peace, & Music for 3 days

 

I’m so glad that my “coming of age” was in the 1960s because although we were naïve romanticists & idealists, it felt so wonderful to share the same mass delusion with so many brothers & sisters as evidenced in the miracle known as Woodstock and our Flower Power Revolution.

Love, Trust, & Freedom in the 1960s. Compare that with today in Trump’s racist America & hate rallies

 

Persevere & Viva la Revolucion!

 

 

The Politics of Resentment in Post-Literate America

~ cockroachconspiracy

 

 

 

We are living in a very dangerous time because just when we need a well-informed citizenry more desperately than perhaps any time before in our history, we have a moron in the oval office throwing gasoline on the fire.

“Christian” Supremacists new version of Morality & Ethics

 

Trump’s rallies i.e. his non-stop public spectacles staged to boost his ego on his never-ending carnival of self-aggrandizement, are resembling more & more Hitler’s speech at Nuremberg. Of course, Hitler focused primarily on the Jews who were German citizens while Trump’s venom & vitriol is more generalized i.e. Mexicans, Muslims, women, or anybody not a member of the Duck Dynasty Klan.

Fortress Amerika!

 

What really troubles my soul is that this centuries-old tactic of blaming the victims of the elite continues to be effective & obviously Trump’s “base,” has no historical memory. The automatons who worship the ground that Trump walks upon are completely oblivious to his blatant manipulation of them. How in the Hell can they find “common cause” with a supposed billionaire—who refuses to release his tax returns because they most likely reveal what a charlatan he is—who has screwed thousands of people who have worked for him?

Beware of Cults of Personality & Authoritarians!

 

I believe a key insight into this dreadful phenomenon lies in the politics of resentment. What do I mean by this term? Quite simply that what unites Trump’s fan club is a hatred & burning resentment towards all who aren’t like them i.e. poor, white, working class born in America people.

 

You see, all dictators, oligarchs, demagogues, etc. throughout history knew that the best way to distract their citizens from the ugly realities of their lives was to blame the “other.” And again, the “other” can be any group you choose i.e. Mexicans, Muslims, Jews, Blacks, gays, handicapped, etc.

The bigger the lie & the more often you repeat it, it becomes truth.

 

It seems to be almost axiomatic or reflexive for people to blame their fellow victims rather than the power elite who are actually the ones responsible for their deprivations. I have been observing & writing about this tragic state of affairs for decades now & I never will understand it. I guess it must be human nature to deny or ignore one’s own responsibility for not informing oneself & participating in the democratic process & to blame those even worse-off than yourself for your inability to feed your family, have adequate healthcare, put a roof over your family’s head, etc.?

 

I am continually baffled that my fellow citizens can’t seem to comprehend the obvious fact that it is the rich who pass things like NAFTA which rewards the corporations for closing down their plants in the U.S. & going overseas where they can pay workers far less than they have to in the U.S. i.e. minimum wage which is an employer’s way of saying that they’d pay you even less if they could but the law requires they pay at least the minimum wage (some rap artist pointed this out).

 

Naturally, but sadly, the overwhelming majority of Americans allow themselves to be buffeted back & forth like a cork floating in the high seas. The 1% own the mass media & have been manipulating public opinion for decades i.e. the liberal bias in the mass media—common sense tells us that those who own the media aren’t going to allow serious criticism of their propaganda to be heard on the very stations, magazines, radio, etc. they own. Why? Because this would threaten the very power structure that helps keep them in power.

The “Liberal Media”

 

And yet Donald, the Magnificent is a master at using the media to sell his brand i.e. himself, to the world. He got something like several billion dollars of free advertising as he campaigned to become president while Bernie Sanders received a small fraction of the media’s attention. Why? Because Trump is basically a “shock jock” and knows that the more outrageous, nasty, racist, etc. he is, the more attention he’ll get. And the kicker is, after getting so much free publicity from the national media, Trump turns on his benefactors & calls them “fake news,” etc. Where would Trump be if it weren’t for the so-called fake media?

the truth behind the Trump brand/logo  

 

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see Trump’s game plan, and his smug mug & Cheshire Cat trademark smirk says it all i.e. you really are a nation of rubes & oh so easily duped by my huckster rap. This is a good place to share a quote from the great Bertrand Russell with you;

 

“Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth — more than ruin, more even than death. Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habits; thought is anarchic and lawless, indifferent to authority, careless of the well-tried wisdom of the ages. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid … Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.”

 

Take a few moments to really chew this thought over if you will. To my mind, this quote encapsulates the core of the problem we’re all facing whether we acknowledge it or not. As long as we remain apathetic or unwilling to expend the energy to inform ourselves, the rich & powerful will continue to have their boots on our necks.

 

If you expect to be treated fairly without being willing to do your homework i.e. inform yourself, you are asking for what never has been nor ever will be. All of human progress in terms of lifting up the lives of ordinary men & women has only come about due to serious & prolonged struggles against the wealthy. They clearly enjoy their status, privileges, & wealth and will not willingly or easily give these “perks” up.

 

And this is what I am talking about when I refer to “post-literate America.” For example, I allowed myself to get sucked into the Facebook world even though my gut told me from the beginning that Facebook was basically a forum for teenage girls. I can’t tell you how many thousands of hours I wasted on Facebook writing lengthy responses & essays on many of the critical issues facing us in today’s world only to get a rare reply of a sentence or two. And once emojis were introduced, I didn’t even get a sentence but more often than not, a happy face.

 

Do you seriously think we’re going to mount a serious revolution for our freedom with emojis? In other words, if we can’t even be bothered to take the time to write a few sentences to each other in camaraderie or support of one another, what chance do we have of making any progress?

 

A couple of years ago, it dawned on me that since we’re clearly such a materialistic society i.e. we only value those members of our society that can prove their “worth” by pointing to their wealth, material possessions, celebrity, etc., quantification seems to reign supreme. So, it occurred to me that I should perhaps attempt to quantify my knowledge? By-the-way, before I met my lovely wife, Jeri, I had several relationships with girls/women whom I loved deeply & whom I believe loved me deeply but they invariably ended because they were afraid that I wasn’t “ambitious” enough.

 

This reflects just a part of the high price I’ve paid over the years. I too used to believe that the word “ambition” solely referred to how much money a person was “worth.” Then it dawned on me, Aha! True, I’m not “ambitious” in the usual sense of wanting to become financially wealthy but I am ambitious as Hell when it comes to becoming as knowledgeable or as wise as I possibly can.

 

Conservatively, over the last 30 years, I have spent roughly 50,000 hours reading the classics & modern classics in history, politics, philosophy, literature, etc. & unlike Donny the Liar & Denier in Chief, I can back it up. I have collected approximately 10,000 books in my personal library & have made copious notes in several hundred of my books. I have listened to radio programs on politics, collected thousands of articles, written a couple hundred essays, many of which are 20 to 30 pages or more, written a couple thousand pages on two major projects so far, read magazine articles, etc.

 

In the notes I have made in the blank pages of my books, I either copy passages that I feel are important, verbatim or I paraphrase them & often write someone’s name whom I remember having an argument with about the subject or whom I would like to show the passage to. I have also developed my own, crude symbology of stars, hearts, triangles, etc. in an attempt to show the value of said passage.

 

I hope that you, my imaginary reader, believe me when I tell you that this isn’t merely me imitating the braggart in the White House but my attempt to establish my bonifides. Continuing on with the twin pillars of this essay i.e. the politics of resentment & post-literate America, there are countless studies, polls, etc. confirming how anti-intellectual America has become over the past 50 years & even further if you read the classic by Richard Hofstadter, “Anti-intellectualism in American Life.” I basically dissected this book because I went through it with a fine-tooth comb so-to-speak, twice.

 

I went through this American classic the second time because I used it as a sort of skeleton outline in my on-going magnum opus; Truth Against the World. This project has become a work of gargantuan proportions & I’ve broken it down into three separate books. I still have a lot more to add but the first book in this series is titled; “The Christian Fundamentalists War Against Secular Humanism.”

 

Speaking of which, these so-called “Christians” personify a major portion of Trump’s & America’s politics of resentment. In a nutshell, these faux “Christians” are resentful & angry that they aren’t accorded the power & prestige as a sort of American Taliban. And to prove just how hypocritical they are, how else can you explain the fact that they staunchly support & defend Trump who is the embodiment of the Seven Deadly Sins? In brief, they prove how shallow their “Christianity” is & how meaningless Jesus’ “Sermon on the Mount” is to them.

 

We moved a lot as I was growing up but I always sought out & attended the local church wherever we went. I knew next to nothing about the differences between denominations. I simply enjoyed the experience & Sunday School. But somewhere around the age of 14 or 15, the hypocrisy just became too brazen. And at the risk of sounding grossly overly simplistic, I believe the Sermon on the Mount & the Commandment to do unto others as you’d have them do unto you, is all we need to practice.

 

Embarrassingly, we are known the world around as being one of the most illiterate nations on Earth, most notably among the so-called “advanced” nations. Many Americans openly brag about not having read a single book in the past year. Moreover, it’s become common knowledge that Trump won’t even bother to read the daily briefings that are so vital for the leader of the world’s most powerful nation.

 

Instead, Trump is noted for his watching television several hours per day & most conspicuously, “FOX News,” which any student of modern history knows should more accurately be referred to as America’s “Pravda.” (Russia’s version of the New York Times i.e. their paper of propaganda)

 

I must admit that I never cease to be amazed at the level of spectacular ignorance & utter inability to even formulate a single, coherent sentence by Trump. But somewhere deep inside I can’t help but wonder; Is this really a master act of deception on the part of Trump to distract us from his & his craven cronies consistent unraveling of our democracy?

 

In other words, is it humanly possible for someone to be so glaringly stupid in just about every sentence that comes out of his mouth?

 

In conclusion, I’d like to share with you a portion from a transcript of my favorite, alternative news station, “Democracy Now!” which I have been following for the past 20 years—nearly from its beginning. This is Wayne Barrett, who followed Trump’s infamous rise more thoroughly than any other journalist:

 

You know, he has made a career—when I say I don’t know why he’s never been prosecuted, maybe the prime time that he could have been prosecuted was at the time of his downfall in 1990 and ’91. Well, you know, the banks kept him alive, as he was too big to fail. So, they kept him alive. But I wrote in the book—he certainly didn’t sue when I said it—I didn’t say that he had made—submitted false financial statements to the bankers to get a billion dollars in personally guaranteed loans. I said he submitted fraudulent ones. Right? And I lay out a case for that in the book. He was engaged in completely defrauding the banks, and the banks knew it. OK? And they were giving him the loans anyway. So, they kept him alive. But even more so than that, the House Banking Committee wanted to do public hearings about it; the banks wouldn’t cooperate. The district attorney of Manhattan was a big friend of Donald’s. Donald was his second-biggest giver. Robert Morgenthau’s second-biggest giver was Donald Trump. Donald was the chairman of the Police Athletic League, which was Morgenthau’s biggest charity. So, he was extremely close. He hired—Andy Maloney was the U.S. attorney in the Eastern District. He hired Maloney’s brother. Right? Rudy Giuliani was the U.S. attorney in Manhattan, and we know how close they got. I wrote a whole story about how their relationship developed. I was at Rudy Giuliani’s first fundraiser when he decided to run for mayor, and there’s Donald at the main table. He’s the co-chair of the first Rudy Giuliani fundraiser for the mayorality in 1989. So, his relationships with prosecutors and the fact that the bankers—they were embarrassed by what they had done; they didn’t want any investigation of this. So, the combination of the two gave—gave them a pass—gave him a pass.

 

https://www.democracynow.org/2016/7/5/wayne_barrett_on_donald_trumps_broken

 

 

In brief, everything about Trump is a fraud and always has been. You could say that he is our greatest “flim-flam president.” And by “greatest,” I mean he represents the worst of the worst in terms of human qualities!

 

—Rob DeLoss, July 19, 2019 Gold Beach, Oregon

 

Addendum

 

Clearly in a “culture” as post-literate as ours & in which many Americans brag about not having read a single book in the past year, some even boast that they’ve never read a single book in their lives, it’s easy to manipulate their emotions as Trump obviously does. And willful ignorance & violence go hand in hand when people are looking to blame others for their misfortunes. Personally, I believe that Trump’s walking dead knows that it’s the rich who have fucked them but they don’t know where to focus their anger towards the rich or it just seems so impossible to take them on & that too is why they prefer to blame people of color.

 

Moreover, people seem to have a penchant for violence & chaos and Trump allows them to vent their anger on a regular basis which is satisfying for those of low I.Q. So, a rightful resentment toward the 1% is transferred on to the poorest victims of our society & they don’t have the power to fire you like your boss does.

 

Trump is the most audacious liar I’ve ever heard of & he even tells his zombie followers to not believe their own eyes or ears or any of the media but only to listen & believe his lies. And what is truly frightening is the fact that this dunce has the power to start a nuclear war & denies the reality of climate destruction. Trump hasn’t “drained the swamp,” but rather he is tearing down the structure of our government with every person he has appointed in his cabinet & etc. So, when your Social Security checks stop coming along with your pension checks, & etc., remember, you asked for it with your blind submission to that vile creature in the White House who I’m sure will be crying crocodile tears for you as you seek shelter on our mean streets!

 

Yep! The world-wide economic collapse of 2008 which crippled the world & from which we still haven’t fully recovered was largely due to deregulation of the financial markets & Trump is deregulating everything he can get his hands on so as to further enrich himself & his butt-buddies. Oh well?

What I imagine the inner “mind” of Trump to look like (Hieronymous Bosch)

The Return of the Flower Children: A Social & Political Fantasy

~ cockroachconspiracy

 

The essence of the Flower Child spirit! 

 

A raindrop fell on my face and woke me. As I slowly woke up, I remembered where I was. I was camping out in the last of the great Redwoods in Northern California. The ‘compassionate conservative’ president with his ‘healthy forests’ initiative, had allowed his buddies in the lumber industry to invade & cut these precious old wise ones to the point that a mere one percent of what been living when I was a boy in the 1950s. I was recently divorced and couldn’t find a job for the life of me. My rebellious ways had always made me one of those who seems to constantly swim upstream and because of my ‘unstable’ work history and being ‘overqualified,’ I couldn’t even get a minimum wage job flipping burgers or pumping gas. Of course with the introduction of background checks, credit checks, urine tests, & the countless other ways that Big Brother Georgie had invaded our privacy, I was on who knows how many government lists of subversives, undesirables, etc. Fortunately, a distant relative I had only met once when I was in my early twenties, had remembered me in her will & I inherited close to $50,000.

 

But the dollar was at an all-time low thanks to Bush & Co. and all their giveaways to their rich cronies, along with the bankrupting of the federal treasury. I decided to get out and live some more of my dreams before the coming apocalypse that Bush & the fundamentalist crazies were doing everything in their power to make a reality, actually came true. I bought a nice cruising bike before I left Portland and towed a small, lightweight trailer with some basic camping gear & other necessities. I had made my way down the Oregon coast in a little over two weeks and was just taking my time. This had been my first night in the Redwoods and I had arrived late at night & too tired to even eat or pitch my tent. As I soaked in the serenity of my surroundings, the majesty of these magnificent trees filled me with a calm I haven’t known for many years. It was early spring in the year 2008 & my spirit was sorely in need of recharging. I was estranged from my son because he thought I was just a bum & couldn’t understand why I couldn’t hold a job down or didn’t care about all the material things that he & everyone else valued. The last of my “friends,” i.e. drinking buddies, had deserted me and I had fallen into such a depression that I had let myself get fat, didn’t care about my appearance, & mostly stayed in and watched TV. I did occupy my mind by watching & listening to the alternative media and I wrote on a semi-regular basis but couldn’t get any of my “friends” or acquaintances to read what I wrote. My ex-wife and I had been separated for several years and I’d occasionally take off and do a bit of traveling & try to start a new life. But time and time again, I’d fail and would end up back on her couch and feeling like a loser. I was determined that this time, come hell or high water, I was not going to return and was going to succeed in starting a new life. A life where I could regain my self-respect & find a sense of purpose again.

 

As these thoughts were flooding through my mind once again, it dawned on me that I should celebrate being back in perhaps my favorite spot on earth i.e. the Redwoods. I had some good pot that I brought with me so I got out my pipe & put enough pot in for three or four good hits and lit up. Oh yeah, that was just what the doctor ordered. I laid back against my backpack and watched the mist rise among the gentle giants, and marveled at the giant ferns & thick moss everywhere. All of a sudden, I heard a faint sound. It sounded sort of like chanting of some sort. I decided to investigate as to what or who was making these hauntingly beautiful sounds. I walked perhaps 300 yards and just as I came out of a thicket of ferns, my eyes beheld one of the most gorgeous sights they have ever known.

 

Maybe twenty feet or so in front of me, sat a completely nude young woman with her legs crossed & her eyes closed as she chanted the Buddhist mantra of Nam-Myo-Ho-K-Ringe-Kho. She had a healthy, golden tan and appeared to be Hispanic or Native American with an exotic quality in her high cheekbones and eyes.

Karina, goddess of nature

 

She must have sensed or heard me because her eyes opened but there was no alarm or fear in her eyes, just a warm smile that melted my soul instantly. Her smile was wide and revealed a mouthful of pearly-white teeth. Her hair was thick and wavy & hung down covering her luscious breasts. I must’ve stood there like the village idiot with my mouth open and my eyes bulging for several moments because she chuckled and said “hi, are you alright?” I eventually managed to stutter “uh, yeah?” And as I stood there paralyzed by the beauty of this princess of the forest, she stood up and walked up to me. She was somewhere around 5’7” and 120 lbs. When she got to within a couple of feet of me, I could see her eyes were brown and I was transfixed. I thought I surely must be dreaming. But when she leaned in and gave me a light kiss on my lips and then said “welcome,” I knew she was real. My heart must have been beating a thousand miles an hour and I instantly had an erection that I feared was going to bust right through my jeans. She noticed the bulge in my pants and blushed slightly with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. I finally managed to say “hello, my name is Rob. Sorry for disturbing you but I heard your chanting and was curious.” She responded “oh, no worries, I was just doing my daily meditation. My name is Karina.” I said, “that’s a beautiful name.” Then in an instant, she gently took me by the hand and said “I want to show you something,” and led me through the forest for several hundred yards until we came upon a secluded little pond fed by a narrow river and surrounded with giant ferns and lush vegetation.

 

She let go of my hand and graciously strolled into the middle of the pond and about waist high in the water & her eyes said come join me. I immediately peeled-off my clothes and rushed into the pond with this delightful water nymph. As I neared Karina, she opened her arms to welcome me in & I wrapped my arms around her as in a bear hug. We kissed passionately and fell under the water briefly. I picked her up and carried her in my arms to a thick patch of grass beside the pond and we made love for hours losing all track of time and all inhibitions. We alternated between mad, violent thrusts and slow, tender moments of just laying in each others’ embrace. We slowly explored each other’s bodies with the innocent curiosity of a young child just discovering the world. Eventually we fell asleep in each other’s arms and I slept like a contented little cherub and had never known such bliss! When I awoke a few hours later, my head was in Karina’s lap and she was stroking my hair and humming a strange sort of lullaby. I asked her what she was humming and she replied “it’s an ancient song of the druids.” I then said “it’s strangely dark yet also beautiful,” and she gave me a knowing smile. “Tell me all about you. Who are you? Where do you come from?” Karina again smiled and responded with “there will be plenty of time for that later. I am a child of the flowers and the forest. I was sent here to do my part to help protect the wise, old ones whom the sick ones are killing. A revolution has begun and my part is to guide all those who come here, on to their path. I used to live in Berkeley until I met one of the masters who helped me find my path.” Before I could open my mouth, she leaned over and kissed me more deeply than I have ever been kissed in my life & we again made wild, crazy, beautiful love for hours. And again, I dozed off but when I awoke this time, she was gone.

 

At first I thought, she probably went to get her clothes and will return shortly. I got dressed and waited for what seemed like an eternity but she never returned. I began to question my sanity and wondered if it had all been a dream? I retraced our steps back to where I had first seen Karina chanting and she wasn’t there either so I continued on to where my bike and sleeping bag were. Laying on top of my sleeping bag was a piece of paper folded in half with a rock on top of it. I anxiously opened the note and it simply read, “Rob, you are a very special man & you have an important part to play in our revolution. Our paths will cross again. I hope you will persevere. You are a divine lover.” That was it, no clue as to where she had gone or how I could find her. My heart sank and so did my spirit. Finally I had met the love of my life after having been alone & lonely for so many years and she disappears like a fairy tale princess into the mist. It had been a long & exhausting day if you know what I mean, so I made myself a gigantic sandwich & devoured it. It was getting dark so I figured there was no point in moving on until the next morning. I didn’t feel like getting rained on again though so I pitched my pup tent before it was totally dark. I started a small fire and set up my CD player with the lightweight external speakers & put on a Joni Mitchell CD. I had one last bottle of wine and smoked a couple bowls of pot as I savored my wine. Joni’s lyrics & plaintive voice from her album “Blue,” struck the chords of my heart & were very appropriate considering I had just lost such a lovely dream. As I was wallowing in self-pity & slowly getting stoned, a thought came to me “wait a minute! She said she came from Berkeley. Maybe if I go there, I can find someone who knows her and can tell me how to find her?” And with that, I was back on Mount Olympus and confident that I would find my lady again but this time I wouldn’t let her go. I could hardly sleep with all the anticipation in my heart and was impatient for the sun to rise so I could be on my way.

 

That night I had one of the best dreams I’ve had in ages. I dreamt that I found Karina again and that we built a cabin in the Redwoods overlooking the Pacific Ocean and spent our days wandering around the forest naked, laughing, dancing, getting stoned, & in a state of constant bliss with no worries whatsoever. I awoke before dawn and quickly packed my tent and ate a bagel & an apple and was on my way as the sun was rising. I headed for Eureka and made good time. I was riding on the wings of love and felt like I was twenty years old again. I made my way through Fortuna, Garberville, & the various other little hamlets I had hitch-hiked through so many times over the years. If I was somewhat near a town I had fond memories of from earlier days & it was nearing dark, I’d go to one of the bars I remembered. The locals must’ve thought me a nut case or something because I usually sat alone, smiling to myself, & played a lot of old sixties music and would occassionally get up and dance to a song that I particularly liked. I made good time getting to the San Francisco area and got into Sausalito late on a Sunday nite. I spent the night at the ferry station and slept on a bench with my bike & gear, locked to the bench I was sleeping on. I caught the first ferry to Richmond the next morning and then rode my bike down San Pablo Ave. to Berkeley in search of a youth hostel to stay at. It took a little doing i.e. searching and asking around but I found a great hostel that had a place to store my bike and free Internet access. It was around noon and I was famished so I decided to treat myself to a good meal before beginning my search for the mysterious Karina. I stumbled across a Mexican restaurant that looked promising and went in. I sat down at a booth and a lovely, young Hispanic woman waited on me. I think she was trying to get a rise out of me because she kept leaning over towards me and because she was wearing a very low-cut blouse, her tits just about fell out each time she leaned over. Ah, lust for life! I had a delicious meal of huevos rancheros & left a generous tip for the sexy waitress and told her thanks for the view as I was leaving. She gave me a big smile & said “gracias.”

 

While I was waiting for my huevos rancheros, I had asked the cutie serving me if I could borrow their Yellow Pages and made up a list of every bar, cafe, & nightclub in Berkeley. I had a map of Berkeley that the hostel provided in their lobby and mapped out the most logical route to pursue my Indian princess. Each bar or cafe that I would go into, I’d order a beer, a cup of coffee, or juice and would just observe the staff for awhile & try to determine who’d be the best ones to ask about Karina. I’d start out by saying “excuse me but I was hoping that you might be able to help me find a friend of mine? She’s about 5’7″, 120 lbs, long, wavy brunette hair down past her knees, & she has an exotic kind of look. I’m not sure but she could be Hispanic or maybe Native American? Her name is Karina.” I must’ve hit a dozen bars & cafes but no one knew her. With each “sorry,” my spirits sank a bit further. It was getting late & I was tired so I headed back to the youth hostel and went straight to bed. I awoke early the next morning and was still feeling a little depressed and beginning to think that I was on a fool’s errand & that the chances of finding Karina like this were very slim. I went back to the Mexican restaurant thinking that the sight of that waitresses’ lovely breasts would pick my spirits up a bit but of course, she wasn’t working. Instead, an old guy with a limp waited on me but he was pleasant. I had a huge breakfast burrito this time and while eating it, I thought I’d take a ride down to the Berkeley marina where I had spent so much time when I was here a year ago.

 

The last time I was in Berkeley, I was living out of my van. It wasn’t too bad a life except for the loneliness. I had a 1983 Ford Econoline van with a box spring & mattress in it. I’d cook one hot meal a day on a hibachi & kept my perishable food in a large ice chest. I had a good assortment of books & music CDs which I played on a boom box. I also kept my big tent & camping gear with me in case I found a spot where I could set up camp for awhile. I was working temp jobs through Labor Ready that slave-driving rip-off joint that treats you like shit. Sometimes I felt like king of the road with the world at my feet & reveled in that sense of freedom because I could pick up and go wherever I wanted & whenever I wanted. But at other times, I felt so alone & isolated. I spent my evenings after getting off work, at the Berkeley marina drinking beer and watching the bay. My time in Berkeley came to an abrupt end though when I got a D.U.I. on Friday, October 13th 2006. I was tired of feeling so lonely and after downing several beers, went out nightclubbing. I spent six days in the lovely Santa Rita jail which was really more a prison and quite an experience. One day while I was in the cell outside the courtroom waiting to go before the judge, several young black gang-bangers got into a serious religious conversation & after about half an hour of being silent, I couldn’t resist so I raised my hand and the young guys cracked up. There were a couple of older black guys about my age but I was the only white guy and I sort of served as mediator because I would politely intervene at times & point out that so and so hadn’t had a chance to speak his mind. The gang bangers dealt drugs for a living and spoke of their guns & the violence of their lives. I think they tripped on me because I was sincere, polite, & respectful and they liked what I had to say. It was lucky for me that I met these young dudes because we were released around 2 in the morning and we were out in the boondocks & they took me under their wings and helped me to get to the BART station so I could get back to Berkeley. They warned me that downtown Oakland was no place for me even in broad daylight and especially not in the middle of the night. When we went our separate ways, a couple of them gave me a brief hug & called me O.G. I was flattered and thankful.

 

Okay, back to the present. I rode my bike the short couple of miles down to the marina and had left my trailer back at the hostel like I had the day before. I sat down at the picnic table where I had spent many an evening the year before. I smoked a few bowls to get my head right and plot my plan of attack for the day. Somewhere around the third bowl, it came to me like a bolt of lightning, Karina was obviously an intelligent woman and where do intelligent people like to hang-out? Bookstores! And I remembered the old guy who had given me a ride when I  was hitch-hiking from Berkeley south towards L.A. last March. He was driving a van that said Cody’s Books on the side of it & we had a great conversation about the Bushwhacker president and all his cuts to social welfare programs. I wanted to ask him if he worked at Cody’s Books or if he owned it but I thought it’d be impolite so I didn’t. I decided that I’d make Cody’s Books the first bookstore I’d check out in my search for my lovely lady. I found Cody’s by looking in a phone book in a gas station phone booth and when I walked through the front door, there was a checkout stand with a young guy behind the counter. I described the guy who had given me the ride several months earlier and the young guy said “oh, that’s Fred, him & his wife are the owners but they won’t be in today, but they’ll be here for sure first thing tomorrow morning.” I thanked him & decided to browse a bit. As I was wandering around, I noticed a wall covered with pictures of famous writers who had given talks here at Cody’s.

Anniversary of the bombing of Cody’s Book store

 

The wall was a virtual who’s who of the American Left. Here are a few of the author’s pictures who caught my attention: Michael Parenti; Alice Walker; Allen Ginsberg; President Bill Clinton; George Lakoff; Jane Fonda; Ken Kesey; Kurt Vonnegut; Norman Mailer; Studs Terkel; & Ralph Nader to name just a few of the dozens of celebrities hanging on this auspicious wall of fame. As I stood there gazing at the pictures, it dawned on me that this bookstore had to be a sort of intellectual Mecca and Karina had to have been a regular here if she’s part of an underground revolution. A feeling of impending success was growing in me & I couldn’t wait for tomorrow to be here. I was so confident that I was going to find Karina once I spoke to Fred the next day that I decided to take the rest of the day off & went into the Acme Bar, a place I had stumbled upon when I used to live in my van and hang out at the marina. When I was here last March, I had an interesting night in the Acme. I was on foot and when I walked in there were no other customers. I leaned my big backpack & two smaller packs against a wall in the corner and ordered a cheap beer. The bartender was a young gal with rings, piercings, & tatoos all over. She was a little heavy set and had bright red dyed hair & a great personality. She asked me where I was from & where I was headed. I told her that I’d just gotten off the Amtrak train from Portland and was hoping to find a cheap place to stay because I’d like to live in Berkeley for awhile & she said that she’d ask around & might know of a place where I could squat. She said there’s a website run by squatters and that it was a growing movement. People slowly filtered in and I continued drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon beers. I wasn’t quite sure if it was a gay bar or not but got a strange kind of feeling. Nobody hassled me and if it was a gay bar, it was one of the most low-key gay bars I’ve ever been in. A couple of bar stools down from me was a guy about my age & his friend who I’m pretty sure was female but she had a goatee. After awhile, the guy asked me my name, and I said “Rob.” He said, “Hah! I got you beat. My name is Ed and is only two letters and it ends a lot of words.” I had observed him with other customers for a few hours & he seemed to revel in being somewhat of a smart-ass so I couldn’t resist when he made the last comment, “yeah, Ed like in fuck-ED!” He gave me a quizzical look & I instantly apologized but his friend laughed and said “that’s a good one.” Ed smiled at me and knew that I was just joking and didn’t seem to be offended. In fact, he insisted on buying me a drink. I met several characters that night and when I finally decided that I had better be on my way because I didn’t even know where I was going to crash for the night & the bartender didn’t have any luck in coming up with an idea of where I could stay. I walked several blocks and it was a pain in the ass being drunk and having to carry three packs. I finally spotted an elementary school and was just about to hop over a fence figuring I’d sleep on the playground and get up early before the kids started arriving. All of a sudden, a young, good-looking black gal walked up to me and asked me what I was doing and I figured there was no point lying so I told her. An older black guy joined us and when I said that I was looking for a place to crash for the night, he said, “you can stay at my place for $20.” I hesitated for a bit and figured that I’d take a gamble & since they already knew what I was up to, if they were going to rob me, they’d know where I was. We walked a few blocks and while we were walking, the gal asked me if I wanted to have sex with her for $60 I believe? I politely told her I would but I was almost completely broke and that’s why I countered the guy’s price with an offer of $10 for the night. The gal went off another way and when we arrived at the guy’s house, he told me I had to be very quiet. We went down to a basement & he turned on a light that revealed a simple cot next to a pile of dirty clothes and a washer and dryer. He told me that I had to leave early before anyone was up. I surmised that this was his parents’ house and he and the gal were tweekers grabbing a buck wherever & however they could to support their habits. The guy left and I was feeling very nervous because I thought he might try to creep in when I was sleeping to steal whatever he could. And I had over $900 on me that Jeri had just wired me so I could get my van out of impound from the D.U.I. I had just gotten. I took my wallet out and buried it under the pile of dirty clothes figuring that’d be the last place he’d look if he did try to rip me off. A few hours later I woke up having to pee desperately and couldn’t find the light switch but remembered the general location of the washer & dryer so I felt my way over to them & raised the lid of what must’ve been the washer and did my business in it. I dozed off and on and didn’t sleep well at all because of the worrying. I awoke just before dawn and slipped quietly out and felt better the farther

away I got from that basement. What a life I sometimes lead!

The Love of My Life & my guardian angel!

 

It was a rather uneventful evening at the Acme Bar but I was in top spirits and returned to the hostel early to get a good night’s sleep in anticipation of tomorrow’s meeting with Fred of Cody’s Books. I woke up early and went for a ride down around the marina. After my bike ride, it was still too early for Cody’s to be open so I went for some breakfast at the Mexican restaurant I went to on my first day here. And low & behold, the sexy senorita was working and gave me a big smile when I walked in. I ordered Huevos Rancheros and as I was eating, the waitress who had just asked me if there was anything else I needed & was walking away, dropped some silverware & when she bent over to pick it up, because she was wearing a short skirt, I was treated to a full view of her lovely ass & she wasn’t wearing any panties. I almost choked on the mouthful of food I was chewing & she turned around and gave me a wink. When this little vixen placed my check on my table, she also gave me a slip of paper with her name & number on it and whispered, “call me if you’d like to go out dancing or for a drink.” I blushed and said “thank you, great food & an even greater view. You certainly made my day!” She just laughed & walked away with a provacative sway of the hips. I slowly regained my composure and tucked her number into my wallet and headed off on my bike for Cody’s. I got to Cody’s just as they were opening up and I recognized that it was Fred, the guy who had picked me up when I was hitch-hiking, who was unlocking the door and getting things ready for another day of business. I locked my bike up to a nearby tree and walked in with my heart pounding in the hope that I was going to get lucky. Fred was unpacking some boxes on a table and I walked up to him and said “excuse me but I believe you gave me a ride last year when I was hitching on the ramp near the marina & headed for San Francisco?” Fred paused for a moment as he looked me over and then he said “your face does look vaguely familiar.” I reminded him  of our conversation about Bush and all the cuts he’d made to every social welfare program he could get his hands on & I told him that he’d given me a bottle of water when I got out of the company van & that he’d let me out right around the corner from the police department. Fred remarked “oh yeah, you were heading south to L.A. if I recall?” I answered, “yeah and the real reason that I came in to talk to you is because I met this beautiful woman about a week ago up in the Redwoods on the coast north of Eureka. She said her name is Karina and she’s about 5’7″ & 120 lbs., long brown hair, and she sort of looks Native American or Hispanic.” Fred took a good, long look at me as if he was trying to size me up and finally asked “so what makes you think I might know this gal?”

 

My heart dropped into my stomach as I fumbled for an answer & at last I said, “well, she mentioned that she was from Berkeley and something she said to me in a note she left & in the brief conversation we had, made me realize that she’s obviously a very intelligent person & I figured that since your bookstore is famous for its Left wing or progressive atmosphere, this would be the kind of place a woman like her would frequent?” Fred’s demeanor all of a sudden became somewhat furtive or suspicious like and he said in a low voice, “what exactly did she say to you?” I responded “she said that she was a child of the flowers & the forest and was sent there to do her part to help protect the wise, old ones whom the sick ones are killing. A revolution has begun and her part is to guide all those who come there, on to their path. She also said that she used to live in Berkeley until she met one of the masters who helped her find her path. And in the note she left me, she said I was a very special man and have an important part to play in the revolution. In addition, she said that our paths would cross again & I hope you will persevere.” When I finished saying this, Fred’s face broke out in a big smile and still whispering, he said “welcome my friend, you have done well & have taken the first step necessary for what lies before you. It’s not safe to speak here though so I want you to meet me at this address one week from today at this time of day & I’ll direct you to where you next must go.” My head was swimming with questions & I blurted “but wait, what about Karina? When can I see her? Where am I suppose to go next?” Fred smiled again & gave me a fatherly look & tone “I know, you’re dying to see Karina, it’s natural. She has that affect on most people but you have to be patient and follow my directions to the letter and it’s critical that you memorize that address I just gave you & destroy it. I’ll see you in one week.” I felt both frustrated & elated at the same time but accepted that I had no choice but to do as Fred instructed & reluctantly left. As I was unlocking my bike, I thought, “great, what am I going to do for a week?” I decided to mull this all over down at the marina so I picked up a six-pak of Guinness and rode down to the marina & my picnic table. After openning my first bottle of stout, I filled my pipe and once again visited the Elysium Fields of euphoria. I had my CD player and speakers in my backpack along with a fair selection of my CDs and put on Joan Baez’s album “Diamonds & Rust.” Ever since I had met Karina, my head & heart were in a swirl of emotions, dreams, & an enticing mystery that left me feeling befuddled. I pulled out the address that Fred had given me again & read “10 Birdview Lane, Sausalito.” I had repeated it so many times in my mind that it had become a sort of mantra. I felt confident that I had it memorized so when I lit my next bowl, I burned the paper Fred had given me. It was a bright, sunny day and I enjoyed the beer buzz along with the pot high & my music. It was around three in the afternoon when I remembered that sexy Hispanic waitress who had given me her phone number. Her name was Theresa & just thinking of that lovely ass when she bent over, gave me a hard-on. I thought, what the hell, I have a week to kill and God knows how long before I see Karina. Besides, it’s not like we’re married or are a couple and wasn’t San Francisco & the flower children the center of free love? I knew I was rationalizing but I was lonely and had too much time on my hands so I called Theresa on my cell phone.

 

Theresa answered with “hola!” I said, “hi, I’m the guy who had breakfast in the restaurant you work at this morning and you gave me your phone number.” She giggled and said “oh, I thought you were never going to call, it’s been six hours! What are you doing? Where are you?” I laughed a deep belly laugh and told her that I was down at the marina and just learned that I had a week to kill before I had to leave town and thought I’d give her a call. Theresa let out a squeal of delight and insisted that I stay right where I was because she’d be off work in half an hour and would come right over. I asked her if she’d mind picking up some beer and I’d pay her when she got here. She admonished me “don’t worry about it sweetie, I’m so happy you called. What kind of beer do you like?” I replied that almost anything was fine with me, get whatever kind you like to drink. I’ll see you in awhile sexy.” And we hung up. I thought, well, this is indeed my lucky day. I have gotten one step closer to finding my lovely Karina & this femme fatale, Theresa, appears to be very interested in hooking up. I smoked another couple of bowls and laid down on the grass and felt the gentle breeze off the water blow across my face and watched the sea gulls coast high above me. I must’ve dozed off because the next thing I knew, I heard Theresa’s seductive voice and openned my eyes to discover her standing over me with that same skirt she had on this morning and still without panties. What a beautiful sight to wake up to! I had felt my life was cursed for so many years with all the bad luck I’d had that I had a really hard time understanding how things could be going so great for me now. This thought quickly vanished because in a instant, Theresa had plopped down next to me & in a flash was lying on top of me smiling with those big, beautiful Hispanic eyes that have always melted me since my high school sweetheart who was from Ecuador. We started kissing and I don’t think we stopped kissing for over an hour before we came up for a breath. Finally I said “hey, where’s that beer?” Theresa chuckled and said, “keep your pants on, well, at least for now.” And with that she got up and walked over to a little Toyota pickup truck and returned with a six pack of Heineken. As we were enjoying our beers, Theresa asked me where I was staying and I told her that I was staying at a hostel on San Pablo Ave. She then offered “well, we’ll have to do something about that. You know what? I’m house-sitting for this rich family that are in Europe for a month and I’d love it if you would come and stay with me to keep me company. You’ll love it and they have a fantastic pool like you’ve never seen, half of it is outdoors and half of it is indoors.” I was probably grinning from ear to ear and asked “why are you so good to me? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t understand what you see in me because I am not exactly Brad Pitt and we just met?” Theresa laughed and replied, “you remind me of my first boyfriend who was the love of my life & you have warm eyes. You know what they say about the eyes?” I said “no, what do they say about the eyes?” She quickly declared “the eyes are the windows to the soul,” and I feel you are a good soul.” And lest we forget the horrors of the Vietnam war, which I came very close to being just another casualty of, watch this video;

Theresa, la senorita mas fina! And reflect on this young woman’s pain;
(all too often this is the fate of our young people who because they have such a poor education, must choose between flipping burgers or joining the military)

 

Well, my mom didn’t raise no fool so I said, “I’d love to spend some time with you la senorita muy bonita.” Theresa clapped her hands with joy like a little girl openning her presents on Christmas morning, and with that we loaded my bike in the back of her truck and then drove to the hostel where I collected my things. The house Theresa was house-sitting for was up on a hill overlooking the bay and had an awesome view of the Golden Gate Bridge. It had to be over 5,000 square feet and she was right, I had never seen such a gorgeous pool and boy was it inviting. We were standing next to the pool & the next thing I knew, Theresa had given me a friendly push and I was in the pool with all my clothes on and my shoes. I yelled “you’re going to pay for that!” She just laughed and started a slow strip tease and jumped in. Wow! What a voluptuous little body. Theresa was about 5’2″ and 130 lbs. with pitch black hair that hung in ringlets down just past her shoulders and her breasts were like luscious fruit hanging from a tree that were absolutely mouth watering. She must have been something like 38 double d. She swam over to me and started helping me out of my clothes as we were passionately kissing. We made love right in the pool and afterwards Theresa led me to the guest bedroom she was sleeping in & we both fell asleep in each other’s arms. I must admit that for some reason I did feel a twinge of guilt for being with Theresa and as I was making love with Theresa, Karina kept popping into my thoughts. I awoke late at night & went in search of some food because I was famished. I found the kitchen and the refrigerator and was snooping around to see what I could find when all of a sudden those warm breasts of Theresa’s were pressed up against my back & I said “hello beautiful.” Theresa quipped “why thank you kind sir, can I help you find something?” “Why yes, I’m starved and was just looking for a quick bite,” and the next thing I knew, she bit my butt. “Hey, what are you a vampire?” She laughed and said “you said you wanted a quick bite.” I turned around and lifted her in my arms to where her breasts were level with my mouth and suckled at those mounds of joy like a newborn babe. Theresa groaned soft & low with contentment & when I set her back down on the floor, she said “okay, now it’s your turn,” and led me to a gigantic easy chair in a den right off the kitchen & had me sit down in the chair and lean back. And then this red-hot Latina went down on me like I’ve never known before & I was in pure ecstacy. When I was totally spent, my lovely lover kissed me deeply and said, “you just relax honey & I’ll whip up something for us to eat.” She and I were both butt naked and it felt so good and natural & I didn’t feel self-conscious one bit even though I was at least 30 lbs. overweight. Before I knew it, she had returned with an ice-cold beer for me & then hurried back to the kitchen. I sure loved watching her walk away from me because that ass of hers was a work of art. She yelled from the kitchen for me to help myself to the stereo system or the T.V. or whatever I felt like doing. I found the remote for the stereo system and it took me sometime to figure out how to even turn it on but I discovered a CD player which you could program to play random songs from whatever genre or combination of genres of music you wanted. I selected a bunch of particularly romantic songs I thought Theresa might like.

my foxy, little Latina Betty Crocker!

(this is Chapter 1 of my novel which is over 2,000 pgs. and on-going; contact me if you’d like to read more)

The Corporate Cockroach Conspiracy

~ cockroachconspiracy

 

 

 

…is to keep the 99.9% of us scared of one another and therefore hating each other. By keeping us focused on hating our fellow victims, their (the transnational corporations) crimes aren’t discussed or delved into. These corporations instigate one war after another & we are in a state of perpetual war as Gore Vidal called it. These wars are about stealing the resources of other nations & these corporations pay no taxes & are subsidized by us, the taxpayers. But if we don’t pay our taxes, we are sent to prison, a thriving industry in today’s America. This is all part & parcel of how the corporate cockroaches maintain their control or power over us. 

 

Why do I call them “corporate cockroaches?” Because like cockroaches, these human vermin hide in the dark & run away when we turn the spotlight on them. And like cockroaches, they spread disease but the disease they spread is fear & hate. Perhaps you think I’m exaggerating? Then how else do you explain the utter depravity of the Nazis? Or that virus of hatred so virulent that inspired their ingenious methods of killing, torturing, maiming, experimenting, etc. on Jews, intellectuals, artists, homosexuals, gypsies, etc.

Trump distracts while McConnell & Ryan destroy our Democracy

 

Orwell said; “Those who control the present control the past & those who control the past control the future.” Trump is the master distractor, he has done this all his life in business & now he’s doing it for the corporate cockroach masters hiding in the shadows.

 

We have become Fortress America & perhaps Trump’s “wall,” isn’t so much about keeping the oppressed out as it is about keeping our oppressed trapped & controlling us from within? Manufacturing has all but completely abandoned America & we have lost most of our value as “consumers,” so about the only way they can make money off us now is to lock us up.

 

A common thread amongst all authoritarians, tyrants, & dictators is their goal of silencing their critics & that is why they attempt to silence the press. They strive to create a “reality” where the only “truth” is what comes from them. Trump has repeatedly told his followers, “Don’t believe what you see or what you read, only “believe me.”

from the 1950s to 1990s Tobacco lobby lied re: nicotine as addictive

 

People are fleeing the drug lords, the vicious gangs, the police, the military, floods, famine, lack of clean water, etc., not because they’re violent, greedy thieves but because of our natural human instinct to seek to survive & protect the lives of our children. Americans’ general level of historical ignorance is truly depressing & is a significant factor in why we are in this sad state of affairs. I wish more people were aware of Major General Smedley D. Butler of the USMC for example or were familiar with a few of his amazingly honest quotes;

 

“I spent 33 years and four months in active military service and during that period I spent most of my time as a high-class muscle man for Big Business, for Wall Street and the bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism. I helped make Mexico and especially Tampico safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street. I helped purify Nicaragua for the International Banking House of Brown Brothers in 1902-1912. I brought light to the Dominican Republic for the American sugar interests in 1916. I helped make Honduras right for the American fruit companies in 1903. In China in 1927 I helped see to it that Standard Oil went on its way unmolested. Looking back on it, I might have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents.”
― Smedley D. Butler, War is a Racket: The Antiwar Classic by America’s Most Decorated Soldier

 

And speaking of conspiracies, several of America’s largest corporations tried to enlist the general as leader in their plot to overthrow F.D.R. because they despised his “New Deal,” program to help America’s oppressed suffering from the Great Depression. Check it out for yourself if you doubt me.(It’s critically important that you don’t dismiss this as just another Alex Jones crackpot conspiracy—I despise Jones personally for all the fear, hatred, & harm he has caused; you can check the Congressional Record, etc. to verify Major General Smedley D. Butler’s testimony before Congress)

I don’t believe it’s much of an exaggeration to claim that the overwhelming majority of humanity’s problems stem from these corporate behemoths who have more power than most of the nations around the globe. So, when it becomes just as desperate here in America as it is in so many parts of the world as it is right now, we too will attempt to escape but where will we escape to? Answer: Nowhere! Climate destruction threatens our very existence as a species;

I know how overwhelming & depressing this all can be but if you bury your head in the sand, that won’t save your children & grandchildren from what we, as humans, have allowed to happen. We are still reeling from the world-wide economic collapse of 2008 & Trump’s corporate cockroach masters of Wall St. have continued their corrupt practices under Obama & Trump has given them the green light as well. What’s coming could make 2008 look like a walk in the park?
If Trump & his masters win in their propaganda war against reason, facts, & empathy, we may find ourselves locked in this vast, open-air prison we call the land of freedom and democracy?

 

—Rob DeLoss, Trinidad, CA Nov. 22, 2018 (Jeri’s B-day & Thanksgiving)

Nuclear Winter or Global Hell?

~ cockroachconspiracy

Well, as our Zen master of linguistics & global politics, Noam Chomsky, has put it, the two greatest threats to humanity are nuclear war & climate change. And I find it absolutely incredible that we, especially in the West, are still so remarkably silent & passive about these very real threats to our existence? Perhaps our apathy & ignorance will be the root cause of our extinction as a species?

Tens, if not hundreds of thousands of people are dying around the globe monthly if not weekly & crustaceans like Trump are accelerating the death count & the destruction of our planet’s ecosystems which give us life. Can we really be so blind & short-sighted as to not see what’s going on?

The world’s major religions that have stood the test of time all have one common rule, law, commandment or whatever you want to call it, Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you! Ignoring our fellow brothers & sisters will not erase our culpability in the evils being done. Are we going to wait like the “good Germans” who never spoke up or stood up as the Nazis came for the Socialists first, then the Trade Unionists, & finally for the Jews?

Do you not see the ominous parallels between Trump’s agenda to “Make America Great Again” and Hitler’s program to make Germany great again i.e. first silence & get rid of the muslims, then the Mexicans, then the feminists, gays, blacks, the poor? Who will be left after the coming genocide? Do you want to live in a world of the Walking Dead, because that won’t be far off the mark?

All of us who are physically and mentally able to fight have a moral imperative to do so. There are no other options. As Dylan Thomas told us; “Do not go gentle into that dark night, rage, rage against the dying of the light!” That light my friends is the divine light in each of us, our souls, our spirits and only we can allow that light to go out.

Each and every one of us bears the responsibility & the weight of the world on their shoulders. As that beautiful song from the 1960s said; “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother.” We must look for every opportunity to not only block but to stop the further development of nuclear weapons & go even further by committing peaceful acts of civil disobedience until we succeed in destroying all weapons of mass destruction.

Moreover, we must likewise halt the fossil fuel industry and all the destructive energy practices & uses that are poisoning our land, water, air, food, & homes. What the world needs now is hundreds of millions of compassionate human beings who will use their bodies as human monkey wrenches or cogs to stop the death machinery.

The corporate cockroaches & the ruthless rich are too blinded by their greed. They don’t even care about their own children or grandchildren or as Cat Stevens asked; “Where do the Children Play?” We have to be the torchbearers of the Truth & the protectors of humanity and our Mother Gaia. Spread the word my brothers & sisters who have joined me and the countless other flower children in our human revolution for Light, Life, & Love!

Persevere in Peace!

                                                     —Rob

“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”

― Elie Wiesel (survivor of both the Auschwitz & Buchenwald Death Camps & awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1986, at which time the Norwegian Nobel Committee called him a “messenger to mankind.”)